“I don't have a brother, ma'am," Adam replied. But Blue saw his eyes dart to Gansey.

The butcher's son

四

something about kevin "you can't be gay in exy" day and aaron "im not homophobic i just hate the gays i know" minyard being one of the major ships in this series is so fucking funny to me. so much repressed dumb jock energy. their powers of being a little bitch combined are unstoppable

ALT

Me at 14 and me at 22 are having a bonding moment

Neil hadn't even noticed the silence at first, too distracted by his dizzying thoughts. Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

404 - person doesn't exist

things i believe about kevin day

• he has very few memories of his mother. similar to how jean's life in marseille is a "fractured mess, dreams that dissipated before he woke enough to recall them with any clarity" (TSC, p.11), the same is true for kevin. he was in the nest longer and arrived younger.
• the memories he does have of her are blurry and incomplete, flashes here and there. he does not remember her entire face. he remembers freckles and bright skin, the furrow in her brow when she'd watch exy.
• his life before her death is also scattered.
• he had a pretty strong irish accent, but it disappeared over his first three years in the nest full time. there are a handful of words where it slips out, but it's a rare thing, and it's slight enough that no one really notices.
• his relationship with riko is immensely complicated. he is terrified of him. he hates him. he loves him. he misses him. he still looks over his shoulder to tell riko something. he still looks for riko on the court.
• by the time we meet kevin in tfc, kevin is aware of how toxic and possessive his relationship with riko was. he still isn't ready to address and unpack the whole thing.
• he and riko would work on their aim by trying to hit a ball at the same spot in the same wall over and over again. somewhere in the depths of evermore, there is a ball-sized indent in the wall.
• kevin did the same exercise for hours on the outside wall of his hotel in the time between finals and riko's funeral.
• he was more afraid of tetsuji than he was of riko. a different kind of fear.
• he is terribly, horribly afraid that his mother knew what tetsuji was involved in and capable of. he is terrified that his mother knew what kind of guardian he was to riko, and what she was condemning kevin to in the event of her death.
• he chooses to tell himself that she didn't know. that she never would have sent him to tetsuji if she did. but that doubt haunts him for a long time.
• he doesn't remember her well enough to be entirely confident of her love for him. he spent every summer with tetsuji and riko, and he isn't convinced that she didn't know how badly tetsuji treated riko.
• nathaniel haunted kevin the same way he haunted jean.
• he almost told wymack he was his father several times, especially in the beginning.
• kevin day is not a coward. he is terrified. he is trying to rebuild his entire life after it fell apart entirely. he is a victim. he was wrong for involving jean in his escape plan, but he could not have escaped without jean's involvement. he is not wrong for escaping. he is struggling. he is doing his best, and sometimes, it isn't enough. but he's trying.
• kevin day cares about the people around him. he cares so much.

okay i need to see something